Press Releases
We would like to thank John Sanchez and everyone at Penchant Productions for their assistance in writing the following www.SaintsforSinners.com Press Release!
"Saint Florian Goes on Sabbatical; Saint to be Kateri Tekakawitha Substitutes!"
CONTACT: Rob Clemenz, www.SaintsforSinners.com
504.482.2467 (Office) and 504.239.3143 (Cell)
E Mail: Rock504@aol.com
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
New Orleans, Louisiana, February 15, 2006 - The New Orleans bastion for hand painted Saint medals and serenity stories, www.SaintsforSinners.com reports that Saint Florian, the Saint invoked to protect from the ravages of floods, is severely depressed, is taking the antidepressant Wellbutrin, and is going on a much needed Sabbatical. Rob Clemenz, founder of www.SaintsforSinners.com said "Saint Florian just hasn't been his same old self since Hurricane Katrina. He is very upset about not preventing the disastrous flood in New Orleans, Louisiana. Florian is in Rome where he will be reflecting in Saint Peter's Square." Clemenz said that "although Saint Florian will be out of the country, his hand painted Saint medal and serenity story will still be available on the website." And in an "abundance of caution we have enlisted the Blessed Kateri Tekakawitha, the proposed Catholic Patroness of Exiles, to fill in for Saint Florian during his absence." Clemenz said.
Before his departure, Saint Florian told all the www.SaintsforSinners.com Saints: "I feel great remorse for letting so many people down. I should have checked up on the Corp. of Engineers and the pilings! I should have called Saint Expedite sooner, the patron Saint invoked during emergencies. When I finally did he procrastinated, since he is so proud to also be the Patron of procrastinators." Clemenz noted "Saint Florian's depression is understandable, but the flood is not entirely his fault and his legacy is not destroyed. He once doused a raging fire with a single pitcher of beer in Europe and that counts for something. He has been a hard working Saint for centuries." It is believed Saint Florian has been a Saint for over 1,000 years.
Clemenz said, "Saint Florian accepted responsibility for his mistake the moment the first levee broke. He was particularly sad that www.SaintsforSinners.com lost thousands of Saint medals and supplies in the flood." Clemenz told him: "Florian, pull yourself together, the Saints will endure any hardship! Sure, we lost our Saint medals and stuff but our loss pales in comparison to the plight of others. The Community of Saints are all behind us; we are back in business. Others are less fortunate; our hearts go out to them and we need to band together to help everyone find levity and comfort at www.SaintsforSinners.com . It's time to laugh!"
Clemenz "hopes Saint Florian will reflect on all of his previous good deeds while on Sabbatical." Recently located Prayer Logs indicate that few people were even praying to Saint Florian before Hurricane Katrina. During the storm and after the levee broke, people were jamming Prayer Lines with requests to Mother Mary, Jesus, God and Saint Jude, the Patron of 'Hopeless Causes,' the most overworked Saint in the bunch. I just wish the public had prayed to Saint Florian or Saint Expedite sooner. They may have heard their calls. We'll never know."
Asked when Kateri Tekakawitha will begin working with the www.SaintsforSinners.com team, he said "Almost Saint Kateri, the 'Patroness of Exiles,' should fit in wherever there are evacuees from New Orleans; she was summoned and is busy at her home, Marquette University, but she will be arriving on the website soon." Clemenz said "Tekakawitha needs another miracle to officially attain sainthood so it's a win win having her help evacuees. She might just find herself ready for Canonization if all goes well." www.SaintsforsSinners.com will continue to offer their uniquely hand painted saint medals and serenity stories to the public, as they have done for the past several years. But Clemenz reminded "For today we are mostly interested in the rest, recovery and rehabilitation of our friend, Saint Florian. We ask the public throughout the country to think of or pray to Saint Florian. It can't hurt and it might help. He really is a good fellow."
SFS
